All i need is ...

hi there,
im typing this right now for one reason! to send my thoughts out to the universe and cross my fingers and wish those thoughts come true one day.
its hard to lose a friend, its ever harder to lose a relative/cousin someone whom u considered to be a sister to u. but its not as hard as losing urself!
in the past year i lost my best friend, its 10 months now with no talking, we work at the same place and we NEVER im mean NEVER ran into each other!
she got a replacement for me some girl she believes to be her soul mate! i never believed in rebounds ! and there she goes having the same relationship we had together with someone else. of course i know this because we share a long list of mutual friends ! the sad thing is no one knows what happened and both of us wont talk about it!
what hurts me the most here, that i haven't replaced her and the emptiness i feel in my heart soul and life is because shes gone! i never knew i was this easy to change/replace/dump and forget! obviously i am.

moving on,,,

losing a cousin!
how did that happen? why did it happen? when did it happen? these three questions are to be NEVER answered! the other day i was reading old msgs in my old phone. i got to a dozen of msgs between me & her that were normal! wat amazed me is that she was really good to me and to my sisters as well. i miss that person! i really do! one day out of the blue after she got married she changed! she decided that everything she will talk about from now on is PURE TEFELSEF! about her husband how loves and adores her! how he showers her with gifts all the time ! how she doesnt spend a fils from her salary and she doesnt check bills anymore, she just buys! when its something about her we're the first to be there, but when its something related to us she ignores it as it never happened! i dont really know why is she doing this to us! but the sad thing is she uses our history together to her benefit!
i couldnt explain her behaviour but i try to be careful around her, allah yahdeeha ;/

the hardest saddest thing of them all, is losing urself!
i can honestly say that i have grown a lot this past year, i have plenty of time to think rethink and think some more about my personality, goals, principles & feelings! i have learned how to deal with my anger, my tears because im such a cryer and the way i talk and express myself to people. i think i have become a better person because of what happened to me. but in a weird way i miss the old me! i miss the fragile scared girl that i was!
im still talkative and social, but im more outgoing and engaging! im more active i laugh more i have more relationships in my social circle and more people are trying to getting to know me, and sometime i get the feeling that some actually want to be friends with me and to be closer to me *blushing*! thats good thats really good! 7amdellah but i miss myself when i used to be with her, my ex best friend! obviously thats not logical! but i really loved her and loved having her in my life. and the changes i am going through, the things im trying to do, improve and accomplish are just ways to fill the void i have in my life!
this brings me to the title of my post, all i need is ..
someone who can lift my spirit the way she did! someone who calls me when a stupid/helegeya song comes on the radio! someone who tells me specific details about her day! someone i have to call daily, every hour! at least someone i can text all day freely!!
i need someone i can love endlessly! i wanna be loved and taken care of by someone who appreciates me. i want someone that i can be with all the time.

all i need is love



just a thought!

yes if ur reading this ur actually talking to urself,
uve been through a lot this year, uve learned a lot, uve grown!
never knew there'd come a time when id look bk and id smile, now i do!
a huge break up, finding that friends rnt really friends, family turning their backs at u! yes this is alot!
we always say look at the bright side, look at the glass half full.. i say look at what happened really close, reaaaaal close and asses, analyze, think and look at the glass half empty.
take urself out of the picture and really look deep into what had happened. u don't have to look for someone to blame you just have to understand thats all. u wont find relief until u get there.
dont ask urself why, thats just painful. be realistic and open ur eyes!
and if you really want to see something bright, you wont find it in that picture, no look around u!
u have a great mom, a loving father, amazing sisters and one of a kind brother!
you have the cutest nephew, and soon very soon ull meet ur niece.. thats all ur gonna need to get u through this rough batch..
read more Quran, pray more, smile with everybody,
and take a piece of paper write down all that u r all that u wanna be all that ur sure about and ull be just fine.
i promise to u myself! ull be just fine, ur in the living room at ur house u just had a great meal with ur people u dont need anything else! u cant find anything to top that !
love u! just smile for me now!
your inter self


its my day!

hello min b3ad '3yaab hello!
today the 14th of January is MY BIRTHDAY!
today im 23 :D
today dshait bsha7ena!
today will be a happy day!
dshait bsha7ena oo happy day adri sa3ba bs mali sheqel !
its my day!
luv u all!
miss u all!
doli ;)


Sick leave!

Its sick that im actually happy that im sick!
Im happy that im home chellaaaaxing ! and not having to go to that stupid place they call work !
I always wanned to be one of those ppl who love their jobs!
But I guess I lost the way of happiness when I choose to be an Accountant! :S
any way,
how u guys doing ?!
its Tuesday for me! im planning a nice dinner with my family, a good movie and just relaxing in a really comfortable couch all day :D


habbat il mawsem !

bs ana we7da ma aste7i !
oo sij sij waaayid hbait bhal dessert ile 5alas ga3da ather nafsi! :S
UMBAY afashel :S 5thait kil il nas weyay 3shan yjarbona ;p!
oo moshkela ohma ythoqon wana ale6 oo abale3 feeh!
bs sij sij 3athaaaaaab ! 7ada 7ada latheeeth!

athar il jareema :S!

bs feh shai al3an!





hatha il ejram b3aina w3lema !

sayir il wathi3 fi baitna yaklona bil habal!
y3ni sij ma y3abron!
m3a il chai m3a il gahwa!
3ogob il akel!
gabil il akel!
UMBAY ,, edmaaan!

bs walla ana il 7een 7ade met7asfa! coz i lost weight oo now rdait netfa men ile nezalta :S
fa im detoxing NOW!
oo sij sij lazim a7afeth !
fa etha sheftaw post bil mostaqbal 3an il akel 3aqbooni :$

PS: i miss my nutella !


Prime & Toast, Yumm Yumm!


its 10:30 in the morning, nothing to do, my supervisor ma yadri 3ani :S oo mako a7ad asolif m3ah!

kil il nas ejaza! :S

i dont feel like working, i feel like youtubing ;p! i wanna laugh! any good links you guys ;p?

anyhow, yesterday was a great Tuesday, i got back from work, had a recharge nap ;p

then i went out with my sister!

we didnt feel like wandering around malls and shopping!

we wanned to have some coffee and just set back to relax a bit!

i know we could've done that at home with our pjs on! bs sometimes getting out is more relaxing! and we just wanned to get out!

So we've been to Prime and Toast! i love this place!

we ordered Cremeford Caramel dessert and Date Budding with some tea!

it was amaziiiiiiing!!!!!!!

we would've ordered some more! but we were ashamed becoz latterly we had eaten it all!

just imagine the the plates 3ogob ma gathaina 3laihom! sij sij lathetheeeeeen!!!!!!
afterwards we cruised around, listened to Fayrooz!
singed along with her, which was really ugly!
we laughed like little kids!
and we had a really great time!
so my tuesday went really well ! as i expected :D!
i slept early, and i waked up early! bs kel hatha 3la mameesh! mako sheqel! :S
anyhow, one day 2 go :D
aaaaah yal weekend! i love! ;D
this is it for now,
have a great day ;**
Doli ;*


Well! pt2

hey you guys!

how yo dowing ;p ?!

i love a Tuesday!

especially it is now the middle of the week!

for me i think it has a sense of accomplishment!

im 2 days near the weekend! and i have finished 2 days of the week!

its balanced!

i like balance! ;p

i dont know, balance to me is like balance!

i like a good safe balance!

well! its a happy day!

so i started the day wearing happy colors!! that really helped lifting my spirit! walla colors do that to me! i love colors! :D!

im wearing a white shirt, with a huge white flower in the middle of it! and a flowery skirt :D!

i never wear flowery stuff to work! but 2day kaiiify eshtahait! ;p

i just finished watching grey's anatomy season 5! *sigh* if any one knows where i could watch season 6 online plz tell me ! :S

one of my fav movies of all times is : Armagadon! its an amazing movie! a must see! ive seen it a million times! but every time i see it its like new 2 me! so ive started my day with the movies soundtrack! aerosmith, I dont wanna miss a thing!

i just love it when he says:

i dun wanna miss one smile

i dun wanna miss one kiss!

i just wanna be with right here with you


i just wanna hold you CLOSE!

feel your heart so CLOSE to MINE!

and just stay here in THIS moment for the REST OF TIME!

OMG! its like so freaking romantic!

bk to grey's anatomy!

i like the way how dr. sheperd is so presistance! he loves merideth to death!!!

the way he looks at her! its like amazing! :S

i want someone to look at me the way derick shepred looks at merideth grey, i want him to gaze into my eyes the Mcdreamy way! i want him to agree with me on everything! and when im scared and crazy i want him to tell me its ok with the same derick's tune!

one of the qoutes i love is actually from the show, when dr. bayley yells at the cheif and goes: " we're all scared! if you're not scared then you're not paying attention "

OMG those writers are really smart and logical! I LOVE!

enough with the grey's !

i hate the new nescafe ad on radio! what with all the hhhmmmmhhhhmmmmhahahahahammmmm! whats with that?! nescafe isnt that hhmmm-ing to me :S! 7ada yes7an :S!

mmm, Even Sweeter asked me whats my book is about ;p!

N dear ;p if i tell you then i have to kill u ;p im missed u girl!

rnt we like the worst bloggers ever!

id like to pay my respect to Mr. Hazem Al Braikan

may he rest in peace

and may God be with his family and loved ones

habba fi e'3neyat " making love out of nothing at all "


nrid lil well issue:

u all know the avenues,

ure all familiar with the famous lorenzino cafe!

sheftaw ga3deta ?!

shlon always za7ma oo ppl not being themselves metdakwreen oo ga3den ?!

i hate that!

i cant be that!

oo im never to be like those ppl!

ma at7amalhom!

wath3 il 5az malhom raheeb! :S

shlon respectable girls from respectable families yg3don hnak!

im sorry bs min kether il shbab aste7y! chena dewaneya!

im cool with guys, its just that la yser there too many of them!

ma agdar!

i cant feel comfortable!

3la 6ari Men, im being friendly with my neighbors at work!

they're like 40-50 year old men,

but im being TOOOO friendly with them!

ile sa3at ashek bnafsi!

is that ok?!

or coz they're old momkin ya5thon fekra! :S

im the kind of ppl that wouldnt shut the hell up till i have said all what i wanned to say!

someimes its useless to say everything! its better to say nothing at all, but dont know id blab! its a bad thing! min il tasaro3!

i love chocolates!

they're the real joy of life!

fruits too!

i love shopping, aaaah! i love shopping

im thinking i should cook something today!

i dont know why, but i feel like it!

im a good cook! im a natural ! (a)

ive designed my dress for my sister's wedding!

yeah btw ! the wedding was a success :D!

and the bride was a queen with her beautiful off white gown!

anyhow, my dress was my design ;p

ppl now are calling me 2 see if id design for them ;p or at least tell them where i had my gown tailored and finished ;p!

GG qoute : " thats a secret ill never tell "

my kind of movies are the true story movies!

i can relate to them!

i like drama!

id love a good comedy - romantic comdey!

but a drama always gets me!

anyhow, i guess this Public enemies is good one!

yesterday ive seen this great movie directed by Danzel Washignton, The Great Debators

he also stars in it! and he surely is a STAR!

its a great story! about black americans but not the kind you're used to, its amazing!

its about how those black americans cut their way into being respected and worthy not they arent but its about one of their achievments that shows looking down on them and cutting them out is a really really big mistake!

oh yeah! thank god for ISLAM!

and if u have noticed, the President of the US of A! is a black american! ;)

thats karma in actions, i believe!

i love the movie Forest Gump!

have u seen that one?!

it is a GREAT movie!

well, i have talked alot about movies today!

ive been writing poetry like crazy these days!

im on fire! ;p

id post some soon inshallah ;p!

so im gonna go talk to my neighbor a little ;p!

take care!

and have a great well-balanced Tuesday ppl! ;p