hello

Ive been thinking alot lately about me. Yes me and what im about.
I have started this blog just so I could find out. So i could have the courage to be alone with myself here on this screen. Maybe it doesnt make sense for you. But i believe that the hardest thing that you might have to do, is being honest with yourself.
It is hard, because when you're there on your bed thinking your brain to sleep. You dont really want to think that you're a bad person or even you made a mistake or you were selfish or you are ugly or maybe stupid. No one likes to think bad things about him/herself and yet not all of us have good levels of self esteem and self confidence. talk about Ironic!
I can hardly say that im confident. I guess I am in some areas in life while in other areas id be so insecure.
Well, today i spent my whole day on the living room couch, watching tv and not really watching just looking at that screen and thinking in my little brain cells, who am i? why am i here? what do i really want to do? those thoughts were on my mind all day long, until my friend called me and asked me this: I wanna do something that would make me really happy, something that would make me high, whats that?
I started suggesting things like more sports, any interest in fashion designing, writing, music any thing. And the result we both got confused. Obviously her call made it only worse. I started thinking even more about how bored i am, food is tasteless now, music is not as it used to, books are blah, sport is a waste of time, friends are like old news and the Internet OMG dont get me started.
Nothing really amuses me any more. although i was in a really good mood last week. now i can only think about what im about. which is apparently a mystery.
There is an upside to all this. I think im gonna write a list of what im NOT! this way i can narrow my interests and then maybe i can find what my true identity looks like :S !
I will post this list soon!
Now im gonna hit the sack real hard. Im really tired from all the thinking :S :(
On another note, do you think that i have hatha ile ysamona " ekte'ab " ?
*yawn*
gn ppl
yours:
D ;**