Well! pt1

hello there!

i miss u guys! i really do! ive been a silent blogger and a reader for a while now! i was really busy!

ive been thinking alot, at times i guess ive been over thinking stuff!

but as i see it, i wasnt emotionally nor manetely present!

well, the other day ive heard this line

" you know what you DONT want, what about you start thinking about what you want for a change "

Ive said a while ago that im gonna right " the im NOT " list! becoz i havent really figured out what im about ! this whole blog is dedicated to this mission! and i dont really know if people would wanna know what im about, but for me its a big deal!

i dont wanna say good stuff about myself!

i dont wanna humble and i dont wanna be cruel to myself!

i know i cant be a real judge of myself! but i think i can be a good one, becoz im the only one that i know what im thinking like almost all the time!

sometimes i dont know what im doing

but in alot of times i surprisingly know what i want and i go for it!

so this is me! the good the bad and the ugly:

im an honest person, i cant lie, i do it sometimes but my faces shows it all! i cant complement someone or something i dont like! i can not say something i dont believe it!

im an honest person that i cant hide it if i feel like crying! on the other hand, im too proud to ask for anything! or even some one's help on a really simple thing!

im the kind of person that wants people to fight for! i know it sounds twisted! but what i mean is, if in any kind of a situation u dont insist on me or push me i cant do it or i dont feel welcomed!

like sometimes id like to go on a scary ride! i would hesitate but if the people around me were all excited to ride it id go with the flow! and i would really enjoy my time!

i cant laugh around new people! i know i cant make good jokes around know people! im the kind u say when u first meet me " offff 7adha maleeeeqaaaa " but im not! i do know why! but im a good speaker and presenter. i dont know why i cant do social gatherings!

i give, im not just saying that! i give people, special people! i think about making them happy! id plan something special just to see their smile! just to the joy on their faces! i love that!

i wanna be a mom! i know id be a good mom! i love babies! i adore them! i cant wait till i bring a tiny person into the world! aaaah !

i love flowers! i live for the smell of Lily's! their just great! i think a lily is a woman! she is! i love a white lily!

i love animals! good looking, friendly smelling animals! ;p i love dolphins and ducks!

im tall! im 175Cm's tall!

im an accountant, this fall ill start my MS !

im not patient ! not patient at all! sometimes i regret not taking the time to wait a little! becoz the more i wait i panic! but the more i wait the less damage i cause! emotionally at least!

i love my father, he is my role model in life!

im writing my book! thats why im thinking alot!

i love designing! decorating and colors!

i love white shirts! i really love white shirts!

im a spoiled daddy's girl!

there were times, i hated my mother! now at 22 years old, i cant remember why!

i sometimes cant deal with taking care of myself! sometimes i think its selfishness! i dont know why!

im smart, yet i cant get some people behavior! or jokes or mean comments! sometimes they'd say stuff about me that i cant reply on! like " ga66at " mean mean " ga66at " ! ill admit im not smart enough to answer those people back! i sometimes get angry! why couldnt i say something! but then i remember that im not mean! im a genuinely kind person!

i dont laugh easily! it has to be something good! maybe thats why i cant do or get those ga66at!

i like happy good times! those times are the best if im with my people! they know who they are!

now im off work!

i promise ill post tomorrow! ;*

urs doli!